Hello Fellow Writers,

We received a submission and did not realize that we had received the middle pages of the story when we filmed the critique. To avoid this issue in the future, we updated our submission form. In this instance, however, we thought it only fair to perform the critique on Bonnie's first pages as well. The results are interesting. Watch both episodes and let us know what you think!

If you want to skip ahead to the critique, read the pages on your own (links below) and go to minute 7:04.

Click here to download the original, middle pages from "Sook's Cake."

Click here to download the critiqued, middle pages from "Sook's Cake."

If you want to skip ahead to the critique, read the pages on your own (links below) and go to minute 7:30.

Click here to download the original, first pages from "Sook's Cake."

Click here to download the critiqued, first pages from "Sook's Cake."