Whom's on First? How Not to Confuse "Who" vs "Whom"

By Ed DeJesus
Writer's Infusion Critiquer

Whom’s On First?

“Who” and “whom” are extremely useful little words, and they show up in interesting and thought-provoking ways:
“Who’s on first?” — Abbott and Costello comedy act
“For Whom the Bell Tolls” — John Donne poem and Hemingway book title
“Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” — play by Edward Albee
“Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad” — cheery Longfellow quote
“Who you gonna call?” — Ghostbusters tag line
The problem is that it can be tricky to judge when to use “who” and when to use “whom.” In fact, one of the above quotes is actually grammatically incorrect: can you tell which one?

The Basics: “Who” Performs the Action 

“Who” and “whom” are both pronouns — words that stand in for nouns — and both mean “which unknown or unnamed person.” But that’s where the similarities end.
“Who” is always the subject of a sentence, the person doing, performing action, or being. When you’re looking for a subject — a person performing the action — you always use “who.”
In the sentence “[—]’s on first?”, we’re looking for a subject, some person to stand on first base. That means we’d use “who”: “Who’s on first?” 
Same thing with “[—]’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” We’re looking for someone to be afraid: that’s a subject of the sentence, so we’d use “who”: “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”
Look at this sentence: “[—] is coming to the party?” This unknown person is going to perform the action of coming to the party, so they’re the subject of the sentence and we would use “who”: “Who is coming to the party?”

“Whom” the Action Went To

In contrast, “whom” is never the subject of a sentence. “Whom” is always an object in a sentence, and there are several kinds of object that “whom” can be:
•    “whom” as a direct object. Unlike a subject, which performs the action, a direct object receives the action. In this sentence, “[—] did you invite to the party?”, the unknown person isn’t doing the inviting, they’re being invited: they’re receiving the action, so we would use “whom”: “Whom did you invite to the party?”
In “[—] the gods would destroy …”, the unknown person sure isn’t doing the action of destroying, they’re the poor schmuck being destroyed. They are direct objects, so we would use “whom”: “Whom the gods would destroy…”
•    “whom” as object of a preposition. A preposition is a word, like “to” or “from” or “by” or “for,” that connects one word with the rest of the sentence. In “To [—] did you give the invitation?”, the unknown person has the connecting preposition “to,” making it the object of the preposition, and so we would use “whom”: “To whom did you give the invitation?”
In “For [—] the Bell Tolls,” an unknown person is linked with the preposition “for,” so we would use “whom”: “For Whom the Bell Tolls.”
By the way, object of a preposition is the easiest situation to spot, so you always know to use “whom” in that case.
•    “whom” as object of gift. This is very rare in English, but if A is giving something “to” B, we don’t always use the “to”. We can say, “A gave B the invitation,” instead of “A gave the invitation to B.” You can do the same with “whom.” “Whom did you give an invitation?”

The Tricky Parts

The above seems fairly simple: if it’s a subject, use “who”; if it’s an object, use “whom.” Easy peasy.
The problem is that sometimes it’s hard to tell if a word is a subject or an object. One reason for this is passive voice. 

“Who” Gets Passive Action Performed on Them

In this sentence, “[—] was invited to the party?” it sure looks like the unknown person is the direct object. They aren’t doing the inviting, right? They’re the one being invited, right? Direct object, right? Not in this case, and it’s because of the verb “was invited.” This verb is not in active voice. It’s not somebody doing something. It’s in passive voice: somebody is getting something done to them: someone is being invited. That unknown person is, therefore, the subject of a passive verb: we would use “who”: “Who was invited to the party?”

“Who” Performs the Action in a Clause

The other complication in telling subject from object is with clauses in sentences. In this sentence, “Sheila knows [—] is coming to the party,” it sure looks like that unknown person is the direct object. They aren’t doing the knowing, right? They’re the one that’s known, right? Direct object, right? Again, not in this case, and it’s because the unknown person is part of a clause. What Sheila knows is “[—] is coming to the party.” In that clause, the unknown person is definitely the subject: they are performing the action of coming to the party. So we use “who”: “Sheila knows who is coming to the party.”
Here’s a tricky variation of the same thing: “Sheila knows [—] was invited to the party.” Now, this REALLY looks like a direct object. The unknown person isn’t doing the knowing and they’re not doing the inviting either, right? Direct object, right? Not really, because the unknown person is part of the clause “[—] was invited to the party.” In that clause, there’s a passive verb: “was invited.” So the unknown person is the subject of that passive verb in that clause, and we use “who”: “Sheila knows who was invited to the party.”

“Whom Receives the Action, Even in a Clause

One last clause: “Sheila knows [—] Trevor invited to the party.” The unknown person is part of the clause “[—] Trevor invited to the party.” Trevor is doing the inviting. The verb is active voice. So the unknown person is the direct object of the clause, and we would use “whom”: “Sheila knows whom Trevor invited to the party.”

The Final Complication: “Who” Sounds Better

Okay, now for the famous quote that sounds great — but is grammatically incorrect. If you do everything mentioned above, you will be using “who” and “whom” correctly and grammatically. It will be right, but it might not sound right. This is because the word “whom” sounds stilted and formal. People almost never use it in conversation. 
In the examples at the very beginning, “Who you gonna call?” is grammatically incorrect. As we’ve discussed, the unknown person here is receiving the action; they are the one being called. Therefore, they are the direct object, and we should use “whom.” But “Whom you gonna call?” sounds ridiculous. As informal speech, “who” sounds much better: “Who you gonna call?”
This often happens when the unknown person is far from the verb, as in that example. “Who did you invite?” sounds more natural than “Whom did you invite?” because the unknown person is far from the verb.
This even happens with prepositions. “To whom did you send the invitations?” is grammatically correct, but we’re much more likely to hear someone say, “Who did you send the invitations to?” Again, it should be “whom,” but because the unknown person is so far from the preposition, “who” sounds better. 

Summing up

To use “who” and “whom” correctly, first decide if the unknown person is the subject, and don’t get fooled by clauses and passive verbs. If the person is the subject, use “who.” Otherwise, use “whom.” But always test to see how it sounds: “whom” can sound snooty and formal, which might not be what you want, especially in dialogue.
Get this right, and who could ever deny you’re the one to whom the credit should go?

Auntie Em Dash, Auntie Em Dash!

By Jennifer L. Rogala
Writer's Infusion Critiquer

There was only one thing Dorothy hated more than cyclones—witches. But she loved shoes—slippers were her favorite—and little dogs, too. 

Em dash, and en dash, and hyphens. Oh, my! The decision of when to use which dash is worse than deciding which direction to travel at a fork in the yellow brick road. But have courage and take heart, dear writer. I’m here to save you from racking your brain. Let’s throw a bucket of water on the wicked mystery surrounding dashes, so your confusion can melt away.

Hyphens are connectors; they hitch two words together. 
Mnemonic device: Hyphen starts with H, and so does hitch.
Example of a hyphen used for a compound adjective: a well-oiled tin man. 
But if the compound adjective follows the verb it is not hyphened. The tin man was well oiled.
Don’t use a hyphen to connect an adverb with another word: the sparkly ruby slippers
Hyphens are also used to remove ambiguity. The tiny lollipop guild is different than the tiny-lollipop guild. In the first example, the guild is tiny. In the second example, the lollipop is tiny.
When in doubt, check the dictionary first. The word old-fashioned is hyphened no matter how you use it. The Chicago Manual of Style—every writer should own a copy—also includes a hyphenation guide.

The en dash—longer than the hyphen—is mainly used to connect numbers like dates and times.  Think of the en dash as the word through. 
Mnemonic device: The word number starts with N (en). 
Examples: Chapters 1–5 of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz are the most exciting.
The Wizard of Oz was performed onstage from 1902–1911.
One exception would be the dashes used in telephone numbers or social security numbers. These dashes don’t mean through, so you’d use a hyphen instead of an en dash.

There are other exceptions to the hyphen and en dash rules—this is the English language, after all—but, if we don’t keep it simple here, we’ll never get to the Emerald City of dashes—the em dash.

The em dash—longer than the en dash—can replace commas, parentheses, and colons. If you need to place a dash into a sentence, you should almost always use the em dash. Use it to add a little dramatic pause, like in the very first sentence about what Dorothy hates. I could have used a colon instead, but the em dash added a little drama. Or use it to set apart a phrase that is not necessary but adds more color to the sentence, like in the second sentence about what Dorothy loves. I could have used parentheses or commas, but the em dashes made the phrase a little more interruptive, which is the effect I wanted.

Want to show a sudden break in thought? Use the em dash. Want to show a character’s dialogue trailing off or being interrupted? Use the em dash. 

What about those pesky spaces? Do you need them? It depends on which style guide you are following. The Chicago Manual of Style recommends no spaces on either side of the em dash. The Associate Press Stylebook advises having the spaces. This blog post is following the CMS guidelines.

Just like Dorothy did not find an actual wizard behind the curtain, you will not find the em dash or the en dash on your keyboard. But most word processors will automatically replace two hyphens with an em dash or en dash depending on those pesky spaces. Two hyphens with no spaces between the surrounding words will insert an em dash, while two hyphens with spaces between the surrounding words will insert an en dash. Or you can use the “Insert Symbol” option, which will display a list of symbols for you to insert into your text.

Here’s one more mnemonic device for you. To remember the length of each dash, use the word MuNcH—not munchkin—because the consonants list the dashes in descending order by length. The em dash is as long as the letter M; the en dash is as long as the letter N; and the hyphen is horizontally challenged.

I hope this helps clear the green smoke surrounding the use of dashes. And now you’re like Dorothy who, 
with the help of three friends—Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion—found her way home.

First Page Do's and Don'ts

by Susan J. Zall
Creator of Writer's Infusion

These days, when it’s so easy to click a button to move onto something new, it’s more important than ever to capture the reader’s interest from the very beginning.

How?

Much of what I’ve learned, I credit to the Writer’s Idol session run by Grub Street of Boston. This event consists of three literary agents listening to the first page of a person’s book, followed by a critique that is often direct, bordering on brutal. If you can withstand the criticism, however, the feedback is terrific.

Here are some techniques to do this, and some habits to avoid. Thanks to the WI gang for help with this list.

• Read the first pages of your favorite books. Then go to your local bookstore and read the first pages of bestsellers that seem interesting. What caught your attention and made you want to read more? Or, what made you put the book back?
• How is your book different from any other? Voice? Character? Unusual location? Let that come through.
• Allow the reader to attach to a character. It’s just confusing when we have to remember 5+ names within the first 1 ½ pages.
• Voice—that elusive attribute that makes your character unique—is key.
• Leave out unnecessary description. Detail can distance the reader from the story. If you’re so busy telling the reader about that cool car (or book or dress or sword), they’ll lose interest in the characters and story.
• If introducing the ordinary, teach something new.
• If submitting the first few pages of your book with your query, have them copy edited. There’s nothing more annoying than misplaced commas, no commas at all, spelling mistakes, etc. Also, make sure it’s formatted properly. Half an inch indent at the beginning of each paragraph, 1” margins, generally 12 point font, etc. Don’t give the agent an excuse to toss your manuscript.
• Don’t try to cram too much into the first page. Bring us in, but don’t overwhelm us.
• Unless imperative to the voice and/or character, don’t swear on the first page.
• Per usual: show, don’t tell. Don’t give us a summary/info dump. Bring us through the scene step-by-step.
• If action is backstory, it’s difficult to make it seem like your story is moving forward. Thus, make sure the content on the first page(s) isn’t better served later in the book. This is called backstory; Jenn wrote a great blog about backstory on our website.
• Don't start with long descriptions, dreams, weather, alarm clocks, or a character looking in the mirror.

Questions? Anything to add? Let us know!

Editing Those Beloved Words

by Susan J. Zall
Creator of Writer's Infusion

Let’s talk about words - specifically, those words you don’t need in your story, and those words and phrases that can be replaced with more precise language.

The editing process for many is the toughest part of writing. But to me, it’s the most satisfying because it improves your manuscript. What are the advantages?

1.       Your story reads better.

2.       When you send a query to a literary agent, word count is important. Many have word count guidelines you don’t want to exceed.

3.       It’s satisfying to tighten up your manuscript! It’s similar to organizing your closet, or writing a list. It’s neater, more organized, more effective.

So how do you weed out those unnecessary words? What phrases can you rewrite? Well, you can start with my list, if you’d like!

Here’s one example: small cottage. As a general rule, most cottages are “small”, and that’s how your reader will picture it – as small. Delete it! To determine how many times you’ve used a particular word, do a word count (highlight the word and choose the “Find” function, or use your quick keys to do it (highlight the word and hit Ctrl-F)). Those overused words will pop out in yellow highlight, possibly making you cringe.

An example of a phrase that can be re-written… Don’t write: She could still feel the pain in her arms and legs. Instead, write: Pain lingered in her arms and legs.

Let’s keep going. I’ve got plenty to include, and Jenn added a bunch:

Words that clutter: just, really, still, so, to her, to him, to herself, to himself, but, *ness, asked him, asked her, even, matter, that

Don’t write: “Let’s go to the store,” she said to him.
Write: “Let’s go to the store,” she said. Usually, you won’t need the “to him” phrase.

Time-related words:  all of a sudden, moment, in a moment, in a minute, right now, in order to (I will red line this expression anywhere I see it!), then, several, several times, start, then, first, suddenly, finally, eventually

The senses: feel, feels, feeling, felt, hear, hears, heard, see, saw, look, looks, looked, seem, noticed, watched

Don’t write: Joe saw Sally in the hallway near the lockers.
Write: Sally leaned against the lockers in the hallway.

Afraid of commitment words: seem, begin/start

Don’t write: Joe seemed to be upset. This tells the reader nothing. Show his body language or facial expressions. Check out The Emotional Thesaurus for terrific examples; the link is on the Resources\Writing Tools section of our website.
Write: He slammed his hand on the table.

Don’t write: I began to run.
Write: I ran. (although run is a weak verb - that is another blog!)

The verb “to be”:  am, is, are, was, were, will, would, it was, there is, there was, being

The verb “to have”: has, have, had

The verb “can”: can, could (This indicates that you may be using passive voice.)

Weak sentence starters: unfortunately, incredibly, hopefully, the fact that, actually

Knowing: know, knew, known, realized, wondered, thought

Don’t write: Jackie knew she only had ten minutes to get to the crime scene.
Write: Jackie had ten minutes to get to the crime scene.

Ambiguous words: maybe, usually, perhaps, possibly

Weak adjectives: really, very, small, large. These adjectives don’t help the reader visualize what you are describing. Refer to the “small” example earlier in this blog.

Adverbs: totally, absolutely, completely, continually, constantly, continuously – in general, any words ending in “ly”. Personally, I think it’s okay to use adverbs sometimes, but try to find a stronger verb instead whenever possible.

Don’t write: walk slowly
Write: hobble, lumber, plod

Jenn would like to add that she doesn’t like the expressions “Nowhere to be seen” (passive) and “made his way around” (We challenge you to find a stronger verb.).

Ask someone to read your story and note any unnecessary words as part of their review. Beta readers love to catch our mistakes! 

Share your overused words with us, and we’ll start a list on our website.

Remember, be kind to yourself. Editing takes time and patience.

Keep writing!

Backstory: The B-Word

By Jennifer L. Rogala
Writer's Infusion Critiquer

Let’s talk about the use of the B-word: when it’s appropriate to use, and when it’s not.  I’m talking about Backstory. Or, as my friend David Sahl calls it, “Aching Back” Story.
Backstory is your characters’ experiences that occur before the start of your current story. These circumstances shape how characters think and respond to situations within your narrative.  Consider your character’s fatal flaw or weakness. This flaw is the inner issue they must continue to face and eventually overcome to accomplish their goal. At some point, you may want to clue the reader in as to how the character developed this flaw. Where in the story this information is revealed can add emotional depth, or pull your reader out of the story.
Stories like Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol aren’t good examples for this discussion since the past shares equal time with the present story.  In Dickens’ classic tale, the past is every bit as much of the story as the present.  I’m limiting this discussion to stories that remain primarily in the present, but dip into the past every now and then.
Readers don’t need to know your character’s history at the start. Allow a slow reveal. It’s okay, even preferred. Keep the story moving forward.  Withholding information can add suspense, curiosity, and anticipation, which makes readers keep turning pages. Once the reader cares, the backstory will be more meaningful.
If I start a story about how 12-year-old Joey developed a fear of heights when he was eight, after a turbulent flight home from Disneyland, why would you care? But, what if I tell the story of shy Joey who desperately wants to ask Millie to the school dance? He gets invited to go swimming at the local pond, and Millie happens to be there. All the other boys are jumping off a steep cliff into the pond, and Millie is impressed. Once Joey’s anxiety sets in, then, the scary flight home from Disneyland is fresh in his mind.  Now, his fear of heights is important, and adds tension, because something is at stake. Will he be able to jump off the cliff and impress Millie? Or will he be embarrassed in front of everyone, and lose any chance that Millie will go to the dance with him?
If you start your novel with backstory, you risk not engaging your readers, and they’ll close the book. It’s tempting to start with what you think they need to know first, but backstory is rarely done well as an info dump at the beginning of your novel. 
When used wisely, backstory will add depth to your story.  Peppering it into your novel only when essential to the current scene will enhance the reader’s appetite for knowledge.  Placing it at the right time in your story, can increase tension, reveal motivations, and impact your characters’ and readers’ emotions.
When tempted to add backstory, flashback scenes, or snippets of memory to your story, ask yourself these questions: 
-    Does the reader need to know this now?  If not, wait until this information becomes crucial to the story.
-    If I take it out, does the scene still move the plot forward?  Does the story still make sense? If yes, then this is probably the wrong spot in your narrative to add the backstory.
-    Does this flashback stop the momentum of the story?  If yes, you are risking pulling readers out of the story and breaking the spell they are under. There better be a good reason for doing it at that moment.
-    Who wants to add this backstory in now, the character or the author? The right answer is always the character.
Your characters have histories, and as the author, you need to know them. But, your reader doesn’t. And, our characters may not be ready to reveal their history, either. Let your characters drive when and if something from their past should be revealed. In the case of Joey waiting for his turn to jump off the cliff into the pond, he’s anxious, terrified, and feeling all the emotions he experienced on the plane. His memory is triggered. Joey brought the flashback in, not the author.
I have a fabulous recipe for Pumpkin bisque. The instructions say to add cream at the simmering stage, refrigerate overnight, and reheat when ready to serve.  Instead, I wait, and add the cream during the reheating step. By delaying the addition of the cream until it’s absolutely necessary, the taste and texture of the bisque is much better. 
Listen to your characters. Trust your readers. Then, the backstory in your novel will be like the cream added at the perfect time to make savory bisque. And, your readers will ask for seconds.

Little Hypocrite in the Big City

By Jennifer L. Rogala
Writer's Infusion Critiquer

Several years ago, I reread the Laura Ingalls Wilder classic Little House in the Big Woods. I don’t remember loving or hating the book when I first read it way back in the fourth grade, but I was surprised by my horrified reaction to the book after reading the first chapter as an adult. I didn’t know how my animal-loving kids would react, or if I would even let them read it.
The book starts with five-year-old Laura describing the family’s preparation for the coming winter. The prep is necessary for their survival and takes weeks to complete. One task is butchering the pig. Laura doesn’t want to miss out on Butchering Time because it’s “great fun” for everyone - except the pig.
First, they slaughter the pig by slicing its throat. Then Pa boils the body until it’s scalded, scrapes any hair off the skin with a butcher knife, hangs the carcass from a tree, and carves out its insides. Then comes the “great fun” part. Pa takes the pig’s bladder, blows it up like a balloon, and ties the end with a string so that Laura and her sister Mary can play ball with it. They roast the pig’s tail on a stick and eat it the way we do marshmallows at a bonfire. My first reaction to this scene was horror. My kids would be devastated when the pig dies. Remember Babe? Remember Wilbur, Piglet, and Porky?
The gore continues when Ma takes over. She scrapes the pig’s skull and boils it so all of the meat falls off the bone. She finely chops the meat, seasons it, and lets it cool. This is called head cheese, which is a jellied, seasoned loaf made of the pig’s head meat - including the tongue and brains (Eww!). Ma chops anything that’s left and molds it into sausage balls. The bones go to the dog. Nothing is wasted, and Laura ate everything on her plate. I can’t even get my kids to eat the crust of their sandwiches.
By the end of the two-day pig slaughter extravaganza, they have bacon, sausages, head cheese (Eww!), jars of lard, cracklings, and kegs of white, salted pork. In the attic hangs smoked hams and shoulders.
Although my initial reaction to the pig slaughter scene was horror, by the time I finished the book, I had a renewed appreciation for pioneers like the Ingalls family and the hardships they faced just to survive. My children would learn so much from the Ingalls' hard work and perseverance.
I’m lucky to live in the big city. While I have the benefit of driving to the supermarket, Pa had to walk six miles through the snow carrying furs on his back to trade for sugar and salt at the closest store. My kids can grab a candy bar from the checkout aisle, but Laura didn’t get her first piece of candy until she was five, and it was so special to her that she couldn’t bring herself to eat it. And while my family has access to forms of entertainment that are too numerous to list, Laura had only one doll, no books, and was stuck indoors for three months every winter.
I realized what a hypocrite I was. What was I thinking? I mean, I eat bacon at breakfast, grilled chicken for lunch, and turkey on Thanksgiving. I buy a real tree every year for Christmas. I wear leather shoes and suede jackets. I take medicines that were tested on mice or rabbits. I watch football and admire the beautiful spiral Tom Brady puts on the pigskin.
I’m not about to switch to a vegan diet or clear out my medicine cabinet. But I have found myself reevaluating what I considered inconveniences in my life. Tasks like laundry, grocery shopping, and loading the dishwasher don’t seem so daunting anymore. And yes, my daughters will read the whole Little House series. Shame on me. I’m a writer, for Pete’s sake, and I was considering creating a do-not-read list for my kids. I was going to, gulp, censor a Classic like Little House in the Big Woods. Now that was the biggest horror for me.

PARENTING AND THE PEN: How motherhood sparked my passion for writing

By Jennifer L. Rogala
Writer's Infusion Guest Critiquer

When my twins were small, most of my writing was done late at night. But some days, after eating a hearty lunch consisting of the crusts from my children’s grilled cheeses, I’d turn on my daughters’ favorite TV show. Fully aware of the evils of television, I’d proceed without guilt. I was entitled to a 30 minute mental outage. My toddlers got plenty of physical activity and social interaction, plus Mommy was pooped and wanted some uninterrupted writing time.

I’d plop down in front of my laptop which sat on my dining room table. Strewn around my “desk” were various to-do items: unpaid bills, unopened mail, unread writer magazines and books.  Written on the back of a Kohl’s envelope was the day’s agenda. I love lists. Correction, I love crossing items off lists. Groceries, done; Sew stuffed bunny’s head back on before Jillian notices, done; Shower, yeah-right; Bathe children, done; Play at the park, done; Finish acrostic poems manuscript, not yet. Sometimes when I get a task accomplished that’s not on the day’s agenda, I add it to my list and immediately cross it off. Bonus!

Writing for children is my passion, though the IRS sees it as a hobby. I’m a late bloomer and didn’t start writing until I was 35 and pregnant with twin girls. Friends and family hand made blankets, scrapbooks, and stuffed animals for my girls. I wanted to create something, too, something that would give my children and grandchildren insight into who I am. A cat story had been purring in my head for some time. Obstetrician’s orders forbade me to do anything except sit around, elevate my legs, and keep my cervix from dilating. So I decided to transcribe the story from my head to paper. I was hooked.

After the birth of my twins, my writing was put on hold for two reasons. First, my husband and I were on the verge of lunacy from sleep deprivation. Second, any rare baby-free time we found was spent with each other, usually sleeping.

After the first year, known in twin-circles as “the blur”, we settled into our life as parents and I returned to writing. Gone were the days when I could spend all day on a story. Twins are demanding, but I was relieved we hadn’t acted on our threats to leave them on the steps of St. Catherine’s of Siena for the nuns.

Human infants are born with reflexes crucial for their survival. Place an infant in water and the diving reflex causes the throat to close so no water is swallowed. The sucking and rooting reflex ensures their ability to eat. As infants become toddlers, their reflexes mature. These instincts ensure that Mommy never eats hot meals, never has uninterrupted phone conversations, never has privacy in the bathroom, and never has more than ten minutes to write or research a story. Despite my girls’ tactics, I was able to pour enough time into my writing to self-publish four picture books, write several short stories, and complete the first draft of a middle-grade fantasy novel. It took me six years to do all of this, but, hey, when you’re doing these things in 30 minute increments, that’s not too shabby.

My girls are eleven now, and it’s been fascinating watching them experience the world. As a toddler, Jillian would kiss and hug the phone after a conversation with her grandparents. Samantha liked to pee after she pooped so her poop could have a drink. I’ve kept a notebook to jot down their antics, and to document story ideas that might seep into my head before they spill back out. My daughters can still make me laugh out loud and they remain a huge source of joy, pride and, of course, writing material. I’ve been known to write ideas on napkins, cereal boxes, and the palm of my hand. The theme of one of my picture books is figurative language, and was inspired by my children learning to walk. As they wobbled near tables, I’d say, “Watch your noodle.” Hmm, a food that means “head” - write that idea down in the dust on the end-table.

To further discipline myself and improve my writing skills, I joined a writer’s group that met (and still meets) every Tuesday night at a local bookstore. I’ve learned so much from the other writers, and it forces me to produce four pages of writing each week. I negotiated with my husband an “all about me” night every Tuesday. In return, he gets “all about him” Sunday afternoons during football season. It works for us. Almost eight years later, I’m still at the bookstore, butt in chair, most Tuesday nights. And with the help of my fellow writers, I wrote a 45,000 word middle-grade novel. On-line workshops are also great, since I can go at my own pace, and wear my pink fleece pajamas with the snowflakes on them.

I’ve gathered small amounts of time to market my work. I developed a website. (I have a degree in Computer Science and work full-time in the IT industry which the IRS does not see as a hobby.). I found mailing lists (Ah, lists!) for schools, libraries, and local bookstores. I created news releases, business cards, bookmarks, postcards, and tri-fold brochures. I even succeeded in booking author visits at local schools, libraries, and bookstores.

The combination of parenting and writing is an exercise in patience, prioritization, and time-management. Motherhood can be demanding and frustrating, yet nothing has made me happier, prouder or more fulfilled. When days pass with no time to put pen to paper and I start feeling discouraged, I remind myself; were it not for my twin daughters, I wouldn’t have picked up the pen in the first place.

To read more about Jennifer, go to www.jenniferrogala.com.

Murphy's Law

Hi Everyone,

When I was in college, I was a member of ASME, the American Society of Mechanical Engineers. Being a member meant that you 1) had hope that someday you would actually graduate to become an engineer, and 2) had exclusive access to the ASME conference room, an area that was about 10’x12’, with a file cabinet, a table and chairs, and a door that locked. Hmmm…

I’m bringing this up, because every time something goes wrong, I always remember the poster that hung on one of the walls in that room. It was titled “Murphy’s’ Law for Engineers,” and as you can guess, it listed several things that would go wrong if even the slightest possibility existed that it could go wrong.

I thought of the poster this past Saturday, when we all arrived at the library to film our next four episodes. I had picked up the camera equipment the day before – camera, tripod, newly-charged battery, microphones. I slid the camera into place and was about to turn it on when I realized that it already was on, which was unusual, but I didn’t think much of it, until I flipped open the LCD monitor. The room came into view on the monitor, and then about 1 second later, the battery light flashed with a warning that the battery was almost dead (it didn’t say that, exactly, but you get my drift.). Naturally, I flipped the camera off and on again, because the possibility of the battery being dead was not one I could entertain.

Unfortunately, it happened again.

It was at this point that I remembered the poster. Specifically, “The 2nd worst thing you can hear the tech say is "Oops!" The worst thing you can hear the tech say is "oh s**t!”

That was me, and I wasn’t saying “Oops.” Yup, the battery was almost dead, and our first guest was arriving in less than fifteen minutes.

Another Murphy’s Law: “It is never wise to let a piece of electronic equipment know that you are in a hurry.”

We all scoured through the camera bag, looking for another battery, the charger, a plug…we found the battery charger, figured out how to slide the battery in, and for a few seconds, we actually believed that that thing was going to charge itself up in time. You might think, why not just plug the camera in? Funny thing is, the camera doesn’t “just plug in.” You have to know that this other smaller adapter fits into the camera where the larger battery normally goes, and then you have to connect it to the battery charger, which then plugs into the wall…

Dave, Sue and Ed checking out the camera

I would NOT PANIC. We would work it out. And we did! Yea, Ed!

Lesson learned. Next time, I’ll check the ‘on’ switch and grab the spare battery.

P.S. After that, everything went great! The next episode will be posted within a few days.

Keep writing:).